Fallen Angel: ON HOLD
by Horlo246
Summary: ON HOLD Bella is in a dark place. Peter has been there and done that and decided to go back just for the sake of it. Both were betrayed by the one they loved the most, and nothing's worse than having two people with nothing to loose chasing after you, looking for revenge. They might be a little mental... but who isn't these days?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is a repost… I had this particular story posted last year (I think), and I've been thinking about it lately for no apparent reason… then I found it while going through my hard drive and I think it may be time to bring it back…**

**Its not going to be exactly the same… because hopefully my writing skills are better than they were…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story, nor do I own anything related to Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

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(BPOV)

Looking into the dirty and shattered pieces of the mirror, I could barely recognize the girl looking back. How did so much change in 3 years? I looked dead, even to me. My eyes, the same ones the Ed-_he_ had described as soulful and deep, like molten chocolate, now looked back at me as lifeless pits, a pair of windows into my now blackened soul, the bags under them being proof of the nightmares that plagued my dreams. My cheeks had sunken in from the years of malnutrition and no longer held the blush that had been my trademark since birth. Instead it was now replaced with a deathly paleness that could rival any vampire. I didn't dare look any lower then my neck, knowing my face would seem perfect in comparison.

Shaking my head to dispel the thoughts, I made my way back into the main room in my grungy, one room apartment to find something to dull the now constant ache, as well as to help knock me out. I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep naturally. I wasn't able to in my own home, with my father right next door, I won't be able to now, in a tiny one room apartment that looks like a crack house from the outside, located in an area not even birds would take a shit at.

Walking the three steps it takes to get to the 'kitchen' I pulled out the bottle of sleeping pills, and taking three with a healthy swig of 90 proof vodka. Sitting on my 'bed', which was just a ratty old couch I found on the side of the road, I waited for the medication to kick in. Knocking me out for at most 4 hours until I wake up screaming again. Too bad they didn't stop the nightmares, just prevented me from waking up, and it has mixed my conscious with my subconscious on multiple occasions. I guess that's why I liked it. It made me hyperaware, even in my dreams, it made me feel safer. None of it helps my mental situation, but it prevents my body from randomly shutting down, and it's an escape.

Without my permission the tears started falling. I touched my face in surprise; I hadn't shed tears in two and a half years, why start again now? I could feel myself starting to get drowsy.

No! No! I don't want to fall asleep crying, I don't want to see the red puffy eyes tomorrow morning, it makes it harder the put the mask in place. It's harder to pretend everything's fine when everything's obviously not.

Slowly the familiar black dots took over my vision, until I was trapped underneath the medicated sleep. Bang! What the fuck was that? Using all the will power I possessed, I pried my eyes open just barely a slit and saw the most stunning red eyes, before the darkness took over once again, and I was out like a light.

_I was back in Forks. No, I'm in La Push, not Forks, looking around at the familiar landscape. I noticed a girl sitting on First Beach just staring out into the waves, she sat there hour after hour, barley moving. Then suddenly she stood up as if she just realizing how long she has been out here. I continued watching as she drove home in an ancient red truck, and followed as she walked into a house._

"_Dad?" She shouted out._

"_Dad? Come on! I know you're home, stop trying to scare me." She sounded terrified, why would she need to depend on her father so much?_

_Then I heard the dripping sound, as did the girl, we both followed it until we saw the crimson liquid slowly dripping down the hardwood stairs. Drip, drip, drip. I knew it was blood from the rusty smell, as did the girl, we followed it up the stairs, only to see the same liquid coating the walls in gruesome splatters. She saw the blood was pooling out of the closed bathroom door, opening it I wished she hadn't. There was a man, lying in the bathtub with a straight, precise incision from the hollow of his neck down to his abdomen, his intestines we're hanging outside his body. It seemed like he was alive when he was gutted, as I saw the blood splatter around him, then I realized why there was so much blood; the man's head is almost decapitated with a deep but ragged incision. The girl didn't bother walking into the room, knowing there isn't a way in the world her father is still alive. Looking into the mirror, the girl reflected was crying, the tears pouring from her eyes and streaking down her cheeks, but she couldn't acknowledge them, no, she wouldn't. _

_As I saw the writing on the wall, written in the man's blood 'Your heart for mine.' it hit me like bricks, the girl is me. Her father is my father. This isn't a dream, it's a memory. I vaguely saw the dream me start screaming, I ran. I ran as far and as fast as I could. I need to get away, away from the image of my father that I had tried so desperately to forget. The forest, I knew it was dangerous, even in my subconscious. This is where my nightmares usually take place, but I don't care. Not right now. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, that's when I fell, curling into a ball on the forest floor, much like I had three years ago. The surrounding forest slowly blurred then disappeared; I knew I was waking up._

_Waking up? Then were the red eyes a hallucination? No, they were real, are real, that is one of the few things I'm sure of. Then why am I not dead?_

Peeling my eyes open, feeling as if they are on fire like they did every morning, then blinking to try to get tears to lubricate my gritty eyes. Only afterwards did I notice I was lying in a very comfortable, almost cloud-like bed. As I looked up I saw the same pair of blood red eyes, except they are brighter this time. He had fed recently, but apparently not from me, as the familiar soreness isn't there.

"So are you going to keep me as a pet? A walking blood bank? Or are you waiting until I fatten up so I'm more tasty?" I stared him in the eye, and felt my cracked lips turn up into a smirk. I knew my voice sounded horse and gritty, and it hurt to talk, even at that low volume. Not that I was surprised, it has been at least half a year since I talked.

I watched as his perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose, never loosing eye contact. What do I have to loose? Then _his_ lips turned up in a smirk. He looked a lot less crazy than I probably did, I watched as his mouth opened, and barley heard as he breathed out a single sentence.

"Who the fuck are you?"

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**A/N: Keep in mind it's been three years, and throughout the three years it's been a downward spiral for Bella she's bound to be different, she doesn't have anything to loose.**

**Please R&R, I don't care if you review just to tell me to go to hell, just anything other than 'update'. I'd love to hear constructive criticism.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Twilight Series, there's no copyright infringement intended.**

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Peter's POV

"_Peter, I'll be fine, just go!" My beautiful wife, Charlotte, laughed as she shoved me out the door. We usually hunted to together, but the past few years we've been hunting separately, it was odd, but I would never doubt her decisions._

_I ran to a factory that's know to hold all sorts of imbeciles, I don't know why I feed the way I do, it's a lot more work, but I guess it lifted the guilt a bit. I could never go veggie like my brother; I swear that shit makes a man's nut sack retract with the way he's been acting lately._

_Walking into the place, I thought ideally to myself what I feel like having today. Crack? No, too bitter. Heroin? It's easy to clean up, most of the time they can't even find the bite mark, but no. I couldn't help but feel wrong that I'm degrading these people like this, like I'm actually deciding what I should eat like I'm at a food court, although technically that is what I'm doing._

_Then the back of my neck started tingling like my life depended on it, and like always I naturally shot to a defensive position, 'go home' a little voice in my head told me. I ignored it, Charlotte would be fine. 'GO HOME' the little thought said again and again, getting louder every time, until I couldn't ignore it anymore, it was causing physical pain to do so. I ran home expecting the worst, but what I saw when I opened the door, no, what I heard, I knew would be ingrained into my mind for the rest of eternity._

"_Mmmm harder!" and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh couldn't be mistaken, as I opened the door to our bedroom I knew I shouldn't have, I should have just left the second I heard it, but I had to make sure, I had to see with my own eyes. There's some hope that... oh who am I kidding there's no hope. _

_There my wife was, the woman who had saved me from a fate worse than hell, entangled on my bed with a man I've never seen before. I didn't bother staying any longer; I didn't bother waiting for her explanation. I knew all along she isn't my true mate, but I wouldn't let myself believe it. I suppose this is what I get for not trusting the instinct that has kept me alive for so long._

Shaking my head to clear it, I still can't understand why I didn't see that coming. I'm supposed to know shit for crying out loud! No, that's a lie, I did see it coming, and I just refused to acknowledge it. After all, what man wants to know his wife is cheating on him?

I traveled as a nomad as a while, and then visited my brother and his new coven, they had tried to get me to join, but I could tell it was just formalities, they would never accept me, just like they never truly accepted jasper. They treat him as if he would snap at any moment, and when he does they offer him shameful looks instead of words of comfort and encouragement. A few months had passed as I tried to convince him to leave with me like I had all those years ago; to me this was no different. I was trying to convince a man I respected and cared about that there is another better way of life, that where he is now is not where he is meant to be; but unlike last time, this time he wouldn't listen. I had almost forgotten about Charlotte until I got the divorce papers. I signed then without hesitation, I don't want to be married to such a woman, but it still hurt all the same.

Walking out into the chilly night air, hoping it would somehow clear my mind for me; I caught the most delicious scent I've ever encountered in my long, long life. My throat instantly caught on fire, this isn't natural, yes it smelled good, but I had only fed two days ago, it shouldn't be this bad.

The voice told me to follow, so I did, vampires are curious creatures after all.

I was getting bored with all the humans in this shit hole of a town anyways, I would have to leave after I found out what's so damn important to cause that little insignificant voice to scream at me and cause me physical pain; it had only done so once, and that ended with me finding out my wife was cheating on me with anything that has genitalia, to say I'm not looking forward to what's at the end of the fucking rainbow would be the understatement of the century.

Not to mention it's probably just an insignificant little human. Humans, they're all the same. Wake up, do whatever the authority figure says, go to sleep, rinse and repeat until they die; powered by greed and coffee. I suppose that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, after all that's what I did for a good part of my life, vampire and human.

The human mind is so easy to decipher it's laughable, I suppose that's not the humans fault, seeing as my mind didn't change any as I became a vampire, it simply unlocked areas that were previously inaccessible.

My thoughts and musings on the human race came to an abrupt halt as the scent stopped and entered a small little building that looked suspiciously like a crack house. This can't be right... for the first time since, ever, I began to think my sense of smell had deceived me. _'Go in'_ the voice whispered, I listened, mostly because I'm a very curious creature by nature; this goes against everything I have encountered thus far. If by some freak chance the delicious scent is a crack head, I might as well enjoy the meal. A scent that good can't taste all that bad, it's just logical.

I walked up to door and was about to knock it down when I smelled the salty scent I have come to recognize as tears, it was confirmed when I heard them sliding down whoever was inside's cheeks. I could smell alcohol in the air, as well as a sleep medication. _'Save her' _save her? What the hell? I don't save people; I'm not fucking Superman.

I was about to open the door when the crying stopped; instead I heard the sound of her eyelids closing? I shouldn't be able to hear that... well, at least this makes things easier for me; I won't have her screaming at my red eyes and attracting some random hunter that'll happen to be walking around. With my luck that shit is a real possibility. It's probably karma or something.

I gave the door a good shove, and was surprised when it fell off the hinges and crashed onto the floor. Looking inside the room, it looked even worse than it was from the outside. There was barley any furniture, and the bare necessities that are there looked like they were picked up from the side of the road. I saw a bottle of 90 proof vodka sitting on a small little table that looked like it would collapse if someone coughed on it along with a bottle of sleep medication, but what shocked me the most was the girl lying on the couch.

She is gorgeous, even in the condition she is now. Curled up, she looked so small it is obvious she's been though a lot of crap, and I couldn't help but wanting to exterminate anything or anyone who would want to hurt such an angel. She was covered in scars of all shapes and sizes and I could've sworn I saw bite marks on her.

As I studied her face, I was stunned when her eyelids fluttered open to reveal the most beautiful, and wise eyes I've ever seen, but at the same time it seemed as if they were weighed down with years of despair. Then I saw it, the glimmer of hope right before they closed again and she fell under her medicated sleep. Not even my brother, The God of War himself, held so much depth in his eyes at the worst of the wars.

She didn't scream, and I'm positive she saw my eyes. They would be a dull red from the thirst, but still red. _'Take her' _it whispered andI did just that, scooping her up in my arms, I ran the 30 miles back to my cabin, and placed her in my bed. Going back downstairs to wait for her to wake up again, I couldn't help but wonder is she should feel so light in my arms; she has to be extremely underweight. I know nothing about human's healthy diet and weight, why would I? Vampires are forever the same, carved in stone until someone sets them alight, but if I could see her ribs and hip bones protruding that much, it can't be healthy.

I grabbed a bag of blood on my way into the study to find a book in order to pass the time, TV was an option too but if the girl needs sleeping pills I don't know what'll wake her and she looked like she needed sleep. That train of thought stopped in it's tracks, since when did I care if a little fucking human had a good night's sleep?

Just as I settled down to read the screams started. I was floored. What the hell has she been through to cause her to scream like that under medicated sleep? Isn't that shit supposed to stop dreams because it puts you in a deep sleep?

I listened as the screams slowly turned into sobs, I hoped she would wake up soon, this is painful to listen to, and she of all people shouldn't have to have nightmares. Sleep is an escape for humans, a way to forget the day and let their minds rest. Why does she have even her escape taken from her? What has she done to deserve this?

Exactly four hours later I heard the tell tale signs of the girl waking up. I ideally wondered if I should put some contacts in but decided against it, no use hiding what I am, she's in my bed, there's really nowhere for her to go. I walked into the room and leaned against the wall to wait, not even a minute later her eyes opened and stared right at me. Again, why isn't she screaming, my eyes should be bright, day glow red now glaring right at her, she can't miss them.

Then her cracked lips turned up in a smirk, and her horse voice whispered

"So are you going to keep me as a pet? A walking blood bank? Or are you waiting until I fatten up so I'm more tasty?" Her voice cracked at multiple places in that one sentence, and I knew I should get her some water, but I couldn't move. My mind was stuck on the holy fucking shit freak out station. She knows, how the fuck does she know?

Coming back to my senses and deciding I would wait until later, when she's asleep again, to dissect every word she said, and plan what I should do. For now I have to act natural, so I did the natural Peter thing. I raised my eyebrows, and turned my lips up into a cocky smirk, whispering out a sentence so low, I was almost sure she wouldn't hear me.

"Who the fuck are you?" but of course she did.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? It was after all _you _who broke into _my _apartment." Ok this is unnatural, she knows what I am, and there she sits, on my bed, teasing me.

"Excuse me, I'm Peter Whitlock. Now, why the fuck aren't you running and screaming?" I need answers. I like knowing shit, it gives me an advantage; something I desperately needed right now. Well Pete, looks like you got what you wanted; a human that's not like the rest, have fun getting through this challenge. Be careful what you fucking wish for.

"Well nice to meet you Peter, I'm Bella. Do all you vampires expect us humans to run and scream? Because really I don't see the point, if you guys really wanted to kill us there's nothing we can do, might as well save the energy. Wait, did you say Whitlock? As in Jasper Whitlock?" Well that made sense, it really is no use running from us, and screaming doesn't really help. Then my mind caught up to what she said, she knows Jasper! HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE KNOW JASPER? Did The Major change so drastically he's playing house with a fucking human? Did The goddamn mother fucking God of War leave a fucking loose end that could destroy us all?

"And how do you know Jasper Whitlock?" Come on, give me something useful, because I swear to god if he did this to her, I will kill him. It doesn't matter that my existence will probably be ended in the process.

"That topic is not to be talked about. I don't want to hear his name, or any of his families' names. No exceptions." Her voice turned hard, and I automatically got pissed off, who the fuck is she to tell me what to do? She's a fucking human; I could kill her with a flick of my wrist!

"Well darling I hate to break it to you but you brought him up first. So I want my answers." And I'm going to get these goddamn answers even if I have to dazzle, or as I prefer, compel them out of her.

"Maybe if he acted like you I wouldn't hate him so much. Pussy ass mother fucker."

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**A/N: The title 'God of War' does not belong to me, I'm not taking credit for it.**

**Read & Review please!**

**Constructive criticism is always welcome.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to those of you who read, reviewed, favorited, alerted and all that nice jazzy stuff. I'm glad you guys like my characterizations and plot so far. **

**I love how everyone who reviewed took the time to type more than 'update soon' (though those are still appreciated).**

**This chapter and a lot of this story in general has content that may be considered Cullen/veggie vampire bashing and very frequent vulgar language… if you have something against this I would suggest reading another story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognizable characters depicted in this story. They belong to their respective owners.**

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**(PPOV)**

The fuck? Did this tiny slip of a girl seriously just call one of the most feared vampires of his time a pussy ass motherfucker?

When I looked at her again she was fast asleep. What the hell is this girl? How can she be so comfortable as to fall asleep in the presence of a vampire, especially considering the fact that she knows for a fact I drink from humans?

If she thinks I'll go away just because she's asleep she has another thing coming. I don't know what kind of vampires she's been hanging around but I'm an unrelenting motherfucker.

This chick obviously knows Jasper, so there's a good chance the Cullens had something to do with her. Those narcissistic assholes think they're so much better than everyone else with their vegetarian diet; I believe their exact words were 'it's more humane'. More humane my ass, they're the worst type of vampires.

They interact with humans, luring them into a false safety. Eventually when one gets too close they get up and disappear, claiming to be protecting said human when all they're doing is leaving them in more harm, damaging the human emotionally instead of physically. At least by feeding of off humans, they're physical pain would only last a short while, as most of us prefer to snap our meals neck before feeding; even more so a good majority of vampires like to have sex with their meal before feeding, so the human's last memory is usually a good one.

Then there are cases like Miss Bella here; they get dragged into the mythical world and left here without protection, one foot in the normal and the other in the mythical, an outcast in both. Eventually ending up either committing suicide or getting him or herself put into a mental institution; living out the rest of their life being told there are no such things as vampires when they know better.

Out of the entire Cullen 'family', Rosalie is probably the most realistic and humane. She doesn't put on this sugary sweetheart mask for the humans. She despises most of them and she lets them know that. She's removed herself from the human race because she's realized she's not human anymore, and pretending to be one won't make her one.

The rest of them are so used to pretending to be human and it comes so naturally to them, it feels like they tend to forget that they're _not _sometimes. They're so used to blinking and fidgeting it had become second nature to them, they don't even realize they're doing it anymore.

I suppose I could give Jasper the benefit of the doubt. It's like he's so glad to be out of Maria's grasp, to not be her tool anymore he doesn't realize the Cullens are using him as a tool as well. A way to tell others 'hey, if this guy can do it so can you', as well as a way to protect themselves; they know no one would dare attack someone the God of War considers family.

Then something she said earlier hit me. _Pet. _She asked me if I was going to keep her as a pet. Was that what whoever did this to her was doing? Keeping her as a pet? Not even in the worst of the wars did we ever keep a pet. Yes, we had plenty of sex with our meals, there were even a few male and female vampires changed solely for _pleasurable _purposes, but never did we keep a human pet.

Having a pet wasn't something that was even considered, it is an unspoken rule. You just don't bring a human into our world and leave them; it's even worse than changing a human and leaving. The Volturi doesn't even have pets, and they're notorious of bending their own rules; Alec and Jane are young enough to be considered immortal children yet they still exist to serve because 'they are spectacularly mature for their age'.

If what happened to this girl was really the Cullens' doing, could they think so highly of themselves that they would keep a pet? Surely, my brother would realize this and put a stop to it?

Shaking my head to dispel the thoughts, my eyes readjusted from their daze to see a pair of chocolate eyes staring at me. It's quite unnerving, they way she can stare at me like that without blinking.

"You know it's rude to stare." I commented, trying to make her stop. If she kept this up I'm going to start fidgeting like I have fucking ants in my pants. Not that they would ever be stupid enough to actually get in my pants, and even if they were their bites would do just about nothing, but I imagine those little hooks for feet they have would be very uncomfortable on my private bits.

"You were staring first, I'm just returning the favor."

Another couple of minutes passed before I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm still waiting for my explanation here sweetheart." I hinted, hoping she'll start talking of her own accord.

"You really don't like the silence do you?" She smirked, still staring at me with those freaky doe eyes; I don't think she's blinked once in the past five minutes.

I gave her a look instead of replying.

"It's the eyes isn't it? It's freaking you out." She said, never blinking, never looking away, and now with a creepy half smile. I just gave her another look. She didn't need to know she unnerved me.

"Why the rush? It's not like you're getting any fucking older. In fact, I think I may go back to sleep, this bed is like sin in material form; especially since for the last year I've been sleeping on a piece of shit lumpy ass couch." She replied with the roll of an eye, not even both eyes, _an _eye. This shit is seriously getting creepy, I'm just waiting for her head to start turning like on The Exorcist.

"I want to know whose ass I have to beat for telling a tiny human our secret and leaving her unattended."

"Ah! So the English language didn't get lost in that roomy vampire brain of yours. You're a little vigilante aren't you? Isn't that cute." She snorted, finally blinking and looking away. I held in a sigh of relief.

"Don't flatter yourself sweetheart. Although I'm bored as fuck, I really don't want to clean up someone else's mess without having them go down with me."

"Fine. If you're that insistent, I might as well tell you. I have two conditions though." How to reply… how desperate am I? Very.

"Name it."

"One, I get to sleep on this fuck awesome bed for the rest of forever, if you kick me out this bed is coming with me. I will be fucking buried with this damn bed."

Odd girl, but to each their own, it's easy enough to buy myself another bed should she leave with this one. _She's not leaving. _The fuck do you mean she's not leaving? Her crazy ass isn't staying here! I'm not going to be caught with a human in my house if the Volturi decides to do one of their insane house check things. _She's not leaving, you won't let her. _

"Done. What's the other one?"

"If you go after these people, you'll change me first so I can go kick their collective pussy ass myself."

"No, absolutely not. I'm not fucking babysitting a newborn."

"It's a once in a lifetime deal here Peter People Eater. Do you want your precious information or not?" Fuck her. Hit me where it hurts why don't you. How can she fucking know to use information against me?

"Fine. Now tell." It's not like I have any intentions of going after whoever wronged this chick anyways.

The smirk that appeared on her face made me regret my decision as soon as I made it. It was the kind of smirk that just screamed at me, telling me I made a huge mistake. Deep down a little voice confirmed my suspicions; I will, in fact, be babysitting a newborn sometime in the near future.

"Now are you one of those vampires that will actually keep their word or do I have to sell an arm to find a lawyer to draw up a contract for me?"

"I pride myself on always holding up my part of the deal, and I don't have any intentions on breaking my a hundred and fifty year streak."

"Good. Now here I go. I think you should sit down, it's rather long and I'd rather not look at you awkwardly standing in the corner as I tell this long winded story." Awkwardly? What the hell is this girl talking about? I'm not awkward! I emit grace and power no matter what I do. If I decide to stand in the damn corner I'll look fucking sexy doing it, goddamn it! I sat anyways, all the while resisting the urge to reach down and check if my balls are still where they're supposed to be and haven't retracted.

"Let's see… it all started when I moved to this little shithole of a town called Forks. It's location? The middle of bumfuck nowhere…"

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**A/N: 'Peter People Eater' is not mine either, I don't remember where I read it from so I can't really give proper respects to the genius who came up with it.**

**Bella's little Exorcist moment is what happens when I type while watching Mad-Eye Moody being well… Mad-Eye Moody.**

**Unbetaed so all mistakes are mine, don't be afraid to point them out.**

**Thanks for reading and please take the time to type me a quick review, it makes my day when my phone vibrates and tells me I have a new email from FanFiction.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: As always thanks tons for the reviews.**

**This entire chapter consists of Bella's story. Like she said, it's rather long especially since her thoughts distract her easily. The beginning is also rather boring seeing as it's just a brief recap of the first two books of Twilight.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing. Never have. Never will.**

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**(3rd POV)**

"I was as normal as I could get considering my mother was more of a teenager than I was. She would get herself into all these situations and I would always be the one to get her out. Her latest and greatest stunt was getting married; I suppose he made her happy. Her new husband was half her age and played minor league baseball for a living and to this day I have no idea how they even met. After being kept up all night with their moaning and groaning for the third night in a row, I decided it was time I moved back to Forks to give the newly weds some space."

"I started my junior year of high school there; living with my father, the chief of police of a town where the most horrible crime that has ever happened involves a party and some underage alcohol drinking. All was normal during my first day right up until lunch when these beautiful, graceful, all together perfect people walked in. I was told they were a family, all adopted by the equally beautiful Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." Peter visibly had to restrain himself from letting out a growl, not that Bella noticed; he knew she wouldn't want to be pulled out of her thoughts.

"For some reason, one of the beautiful took interest in me and soon enough I was told their secret. Well, I forced the secret out of him, a family friend on the La Push reservation nearby had unintentionally revealed it to me and I confronted him about it. I suppose we had a relationship going, his family were all relatively nice… with the exception of Rosalie and Jasper. Rosalie either hated me or was smart and didn't want to be friends with a puny human, I couldn't really tell. Jasper wasn't _allowed_ to be near me, less he gets tempted and try to take a bite out of me. I really do wish they gave him more credit, he did have to feel the bloodlust of 6 other vampires on top of his own; or at least I wish he stood up for himself. Especially now that I've learned he was such a badass in the good old days. Not even his supposed mate tried to defend him."

"It'll probably be easiest to forgive him though, as long as he stops being such a pussy. I don't blame Rosalie at all, she never wanted anything to do with me, and thus none of this shit could ever be her fault. Anyways, I got close with the entire family, so close that they felt comfortable inviting me to their vampire baseball game. I knew I shouldn't have gone, I had a bad feeling that day but I went anyways because Edward and Alice really wanted me to be there. Wouldn't you know it, with my luck a group of nomads had been passing through and heard the game. They wanted to join. Their supposed leader was a vampire named Laurent though it was obvious the real leader was the blonde, James. As it turns out, James was a tracker, and I just became his new target. I was told by Edward quite a while later he wasn't particularly interested in me or my blood, but rather pissing off my supposed family."

"That one baseball game started a chain reaction. My life took a nosedive to the shitter. Like I said, I became the object of a game, I was shipped off back to Arizona with Jasper and Alice. At least at that point they still had enough common sense to know Jasper would be the best to protect me. I discovered a lot about him on that trip; not that he told me, it was just the first time I was in close enough proximity that I can observe him and how he does things. I couldn't help but feel like his family was keeping him down. He's the most powerful in that family and everyone but him knew it." Peter could just silently nod; he knew Bella was right on the nose with that observation.

"I somehow managed to get away from the two of them to go confront James. I thought he had my mother, he used an old recording to trick me, but I suppose it's better it wasn't really her. I realized my life was fucked up ten ways to Friday and I didn't want her to be dragged into it. That was the first time I got bit by a vampire. The family got there in time though; Jasper and Emmett ripped James apart while Edward sucked the poison out, something about not wanting to damn my soul. The building was set on fire."

"When I got out of the hospital life went back to normal for a while. They had left Victoria, James' mate out and free to exact her revenge. Jasper mentioned something about it, but the family listened to Edward when he said Victoria's mind held nothing of the sort. Jasper backed off. A few months later I was thrown a birthday party against my will. I got a papercut and Jasper attacked. I never blamed him for that; nearly everyone in the room was feeling some sort of bloodlust. Edward left and took his entire family with him. That's when I knew for sure I wasn't his mate. I saw the way Carlisle was with Esme and the way Emmett was with Rosalie; I realized if I was Edward's mate like he had claimed he would've never been able to leave me." Peter could only nod, she was absolutely right, again.

"I wasn't that upset that he wasn't around, but his family leaving with him hit me hard. What's worse is that they left a loose end; Victoria was still after me. Mate for a mate she said the first time I ran into her. What's ironic is Edward didn't kill James, Emmett and Jasper did. Emmett held him down as Jasper ripped his head off. I remember it as if it was yesterday, it was the first and only time I saw what he used to be, and I loved it. It was spectacular even back then when I wasn't as messed up as I am now. Raw power and beauty in the purest form." She sighed. Peter was sitting there wondering if she saw _that _side of _him_, she would think the same.

"Not even weeks after they left Laurent caught up with me. Victoria sent him because he had owed her a favor. Apparently he had been living with the Denali's in Alaska and gone vegetarian; his eyes told me otherwise. He took me to her and I was made into a good little pet. A true pet, not what I had been to the Cullens; she had me conditioned perfectly within a week. I served as a walking blood bag, and an entertainment tool for whoever wished it. If I refused I would be whipped, burned, cut, and bitten. Ever heard of genital mutilation? I sure have. The only place she never touched was my face; she wanted it to stay perfect. Eventually she got bored and I was left to fend for myself. She got up and left, leaving me chained to the wall, naked as the day I was born. I couldn't do anything; I was too weak to even fight off the rats. It had been almost a year, the chances of someone finding me were nonexistent at this point, so I gave up."

"Eventually the La Push pack did find me, hanging on my last few breaths with everything I have and being supported solely by the chains around my wrists. I was hospitalized, and a story was made up to hide the existence of vampires. Once I had recovered enough I went back to school to finish off my senior year. It was the one thing I refused to let the mythical world take away from me."

"The next few months were hell. I sat alone at school because I had been so occupied with the Cullens I neglected to make human friends. Everyone looked at me with pity; it felt as if they could see through my long sleeved shirts and see the scars that lay there. The police chief's daughter being kidnapped and tortured was huge news in such a little town. My friend from the reservation had given up on me because he had finally realized I could never love him as anything more than a brother. Even so I spent most of my days at First Beach on the reservation. I knew I was safe there. Victoria would be dead as soon as she set foot on the reservation; the place was guarded by a pack of overgrown men who sprout fur and grow a tail when they're pissed off. I hadn't taken into account that my father would be completely exposed. Victoria did though, she was pissed that her little plaything continues to live on this earth; she couldn't get to me physically so she would do it emotionally. She slaughtered my mother and stepfather. A few weeks after the funeral she conducted a suicide mission to do the same to my father, leaving the same gruesome message at both scenes 'Your heart for mine.'. She was decapitated and at my request her head currently resides in, the alpha wolf, Sam's waste tank. I had a sick satisfaction that she would spend at least a few decades rotting in shape shifter shit."

"As soon as I obtained my GED I skipped town, I didn't stick around for the graduation ceremony even though I was valedictorian. I drove as far as I could, or at least as far as my old truck would let me. Then I hitchhiked a bit and finally settled down in that rusty little shack you found me in. I have had nothing but time to think about the direction my life took; hours upon hours thinking about who I would blame for to shitty state of my life, and what I would do if I ever met these people again. I've had months to analyze every situation in my life that I could think of."

"Recently I've had an revelation, all this shit made me who I am and I'm glad it happened. I don't want to go back and do it again, and if I had a choice I would avoid the town of Forks all together, but I'm glad I made it out alive. I'm alive. That is why I wanted you to change me before you go out and avenge my life or whatever it is you vampires do. I don't so much as want to hurt the Cullens for what they caused but to show them that I'm stronger than that. Stronger than they can ever be." She finished off with a half-assed smile.

"So? I know we made a deal and everything and I know you made it pretty damn clear you don't want to babysit a newborn but will you change me?"

* * *

**A/N: There it is. Bella's life story in about two thousand words. There are specific moments I will be getting into more detail with; I just don't know which ones yet.**

**I realize there's moments where she sounds like she's completely in love with Jasper, and that's my inner Jasper fangirl coming out to play. At this moment in time Bella is Peter's, but like I said this story is being pulled out of my ass so I have no idea where it'll end up.**

**Peter will probably get his own monologue next chapter, as he process the shit storm that is Ms. Bella's life.**

**If you would take a moment to type me a quick review, it would just make my day.**


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